I initially wrote this and posted it on my personal Myspace blog on 10/15/06, about my first visit home a few months after my father’s death on 7/15/06.
I’m re-posting it here to preserve and to share the memory in his honor today on the 3rd anniversary of his passing.
Bittersweet… a glimpse of a young artist.
I’ve been home in NY this weekend for a much happier reason than in recent months… To attend my sister’s wedding and help her celebrate the start of her happy new life.
This is the first time I’ve been home since my dad died… and it has been a bittersweet homecoming for me: Full of happiness for the event and to be together with my family, but sadness in the inescapable corporeal absence of my father.
Even though I “know” he is still with us, being here and not “seeing” him was a painful reminder that he is gone from this physical world.
(not that I ever forget that.)
The wedding was beautiful and we all could feel his presence there with us, sharing in the love and happiness we all felt in being together and celebrating this special occasion.
But I did get an unexpected “gift” on this trip home…
One of my sisters had been cleaning out his desk and found a picture that none of us had ever seen… not even my mom.
It’s a professional portrait of him, shown below, probably his head shot for promo and publicity purposes, taken when he was 17. My dad was already playing professionally in his mid-teens… he was that good.
We don’t know why he hid it away and never shared it with us; maybe he had forgotten about it. The scanner here is too small to handle the dimensions of the portrait. We’ll take it and get it professionally scanned. But I wanted to get what I could now… and share it while it is still so fresh in my mind.
This is a treasure for me…
to see the promise, hope and quiet confidence in the eyes of a young artist – my father – many years before I was born.
There is such energy in this photo for me. It’s a reminder of the creative hope and spirit in us all.
Something that can never be taken away… as long as you do not allow it.
To all my fellow artists: remember to reach inside to nurture and renew that spirit.
It is your gift and your birthright.
my love to you all,
If You Must Go – (in memory of my dad)
lyrics and music by Luna Jade
arranged & recorded by Luna Jade
- As Dusk Descends...
- If You Must Go...
- A Final "Note" of Respect
- Bittersweet... a glimpse of a young artist
- A Very Special Day, A Very Special Song... sharing thoughts on both
- Comfort from unexpected places... In Memory Of My Dad (7/15/06)
- The HeartStore: Why I created it... the REAL why.
- Happy Fathers Day to all... a tribute to mine.
- If You Must Go... shared for a friend
- Remembering Dad...
- If You Must Go... a different version for 2012 - Initial demo [words, audio, story]
- Happy Fathers Day, Daddy... I miss you.